Bags...

Cody packed his bags tonight. I had to do all I could to not cry, I need to be strong for him. I dont want him to see me cry, he's already told me that if I do in front of him, it'll make leaving so much harder.... Im not sure I can hold in it any longer though... My husband is leaving for Iraq. I wont see him for many many months, I wont know if he is okay or not. I dont think Ill be able to watch the news anymore... Hearing about soldiers dying and all... I dont wanna see that, and worry that its Cody they are talking about... I cant help but think the worst... but I am hoping for the best...

He's really leaving...

It still hasn't hit me that Cody is leaving within the next week, but he is. He is going to place that I never dreamed of him going. Last night he asked me if I think Caleb will forget him. I assured him that no matter what Caleb will always know his dad. Maybe I lied, because I really don't know. I don't know what this next year will bring, I don't know what Caleb will be like in a year, he should remember, but who really knows.  I don't know what our daughter will be like. She will be 9 months old when he comes back, the first 9 months of her life she will not know her father. All I can do is pray that she won't be afraid of him, that would be aweful.

The only things I do know for sure about this coming year is that he is going to be gone, and when he comes back I will love him just like I loved him on the day he left.

Family Picnik...

Today we are going to the Family Picnik sponsored by the bank that has "adopted" my husbands battery. I'm pretty excited to go, and meet all the people that Cody talks about everyday!! Haha, the only one I actually know is BJ. But as much as I am excited, It kinda bums me out too, because this picnik, is a going away party for the guys. Its making this deployment more and more real to me. We have known about it since we moved here in May, but it never really hit me. I dont think it really will until he has been gone for a few days, because Im use to not seeing him all the time.

Confesions of a bookstore-a-holic

A few weeks ago I found my new love while buying books for my sons birthday. I bought him 6 Dr. Seuss books, a word book, and 2 books for myself. I also ordered "Horton Hears A Who" that day. I went to the store today to inquire about the book I had ordered. I also decided to just look around a little. An hour later I go to the checkout, with my ONE book. I could have gotten a hundred more, but I didnt think the hubs would have liked that. I got the third installment of Confessions of a Shop-a-holic. I asked about my order, and it hasnt come in yet, but they will call me when it comes in!! Yet ANOTHER day I can go to the bookstore. There is something so calming about the atmospere, it makes me want to stay all day. I wanted to buy books on nearly everything. Cooking, animals, presidents, Corvettes, yoga, sushi making. They had this beautiful baby book with thick purple ribbon, tied in a knot, attached to the binding for a bookmark, I wanted to buy 2; one for my new baby, and a new one for my son. I want to get him a new baby book, his other one isnt special enough. My husband would look at me like I had nine heads of I had come home with 2 baby books. Not only because I am only pregnant with one, but because I already have one for both children. I am ready to admit, I am addicted to books, and the bookstore.